Random people page 15  | 01/10/03

Name: Duct tape

Occupation: Leading a Blitzkrieg against the western world

Hobby: Ogling his granddaughter 

Highlight of Life: Breaking wind then fixing it

Name: Post-it Note

Occupation: Moving his arms with the power of his mind

Hobby: Playing fetch with his son

HIghlight of Life: Throwing his life savings in a wishing well (his wish didn't come true)

Name: Golden Retriever

Occupation: Putting her families names in alphabetical order (Andy Retriever, Golden Retriever, Paul Retriever)

Hobby: Taking the piss out of her bladder

Highlight of life: Having an overdose on chill pills

Name: Tuck and Roll

Occupation: Attempting to put out fires with his hands  (he has been in hospital 47 times with 3rd degree burns)

Hobby: Adjusting his hair to fit his mood.

Highlight of life: Eating his own legs when money was tight 

Name: Salmonella

Occupation: Docking at bay

Hobby:  Laughing all the way to the bank but then forgetting the joke

Highlight of life: Breaking a record (The Beatles)

Name: Las Vegas

Occupation: Holding tennis in contempt of court

Hobby: Pulling up lame 

Highlight of life: Finding the meaning of life (n. pl. lives (lvz) Human existence, relationships, or activity in general: real life; everyday life)

Name: Law and Order 

Occupation: Chucking a wobbly.

Hobby: Failing his legs

Highlight of life: Having Quokka Genes

Name: Rail Gun

Occupation: Resisting his primal instincts.

Hobby: Being alerted by loud noise

Highlight of life: Barbequing his kids for Christmas dinner.

Name: Goanna

Occupation: Diving off a bridge with cement boots

Hobby:  Fishing for compliments

Highlight of life: Having a red hot go

Name: Diminishing Returns

Occupation: Being Absolutely Fabulous

Hobby: Surfing on a heat wave

Highlight of life: Donating his organs be fore he died