Random people page 20  | 23/07/04

Name: Control Alt Defeat

Occupation: Going on dates and having uncontrollable diarrhoea

Hobby: Topless dancing for his dad's Bucks Party

Highlight of Life: Building Fort Jocks in his bedroom 

Name: Heaven Is A Place On Earth

Occupation: Being a sweet sugar candyman

Hobby: Fasting for 400 hours after misreading the 40 hour famine pamphlet

Highlight of Life: Getting ruptured hair

Name: Magic Happens

Occupation: Overfeeding his dog to make himself look better in comparison

Hobby: Injecting food into his bum

Highlight of Life: Making homemade horseradish out of horses and radishes

Name: Root 66

Occupation: Starting a dairy farm with his wife's breasts

Hobby: Selling his sick dad's dialysis machine for drug money

Highlight of Life: Incinerating his kids so his wife wont find out he spoilt them 

Name: Experiment X

Occupation: Creating a clone of himself in the mirror

Hobby: Wearing a scientist costume despite being a nanny

Highlight of Life: Writing a book of scientific theories to try win the Nobel Prize such as:

                        New York is not actually a planet

                        The Sun is bigger than the Earth

                        The speed of light is faster than the speed of dogs

Name: Dragonheart

Occupation: Quitting the IT industry to focus on his modelling career

Hobby: Stealing his mums tampons

Highlight of Life: Cutting his hands off to get a machine gun grafted to his arm (he later found out this was impossible)

Name: Bratwurst

Occupation: Creating the Great Australian Byte when she was feeling peckish

Hobby: Boasting a 2 gigahertz processor

Highlight of Life: Being genetically similar to a whale

Name: Honey I Shrunk The Kids

Occupation: Rewriting Silence Of The Lambs for kids

Hobby: Learning karate to fight tooth decay

Highlight of Life: Asking out his mother in law in front of his wife

Name: Ordinary K

Occupation: Getting a PHD with a school of fish

Hobby: Leaving his inheritance to his dog instead of his poor son who he was on good terms with

Highlight of Life: Claiming he found Thesaurus bones in his backyard

Name: The Hunt For Red October

Occupation: Forgetting to shave for 1260 consecutive days

Hobby: Attempting to put out heartburn with a fire extinguisher

Highlight of Life: Forgetting to urinate for 1260 consecutive days